Search of source of inspiration for happiness and success in life
Living force forms an integral part of every human being. This basically refers to what we known as ‘inspiration’. This is a unique force that motivates an individual to achieve his or her goals in life. It lifts up our spirits and gives us an opportunity to appreciate the everyday joys of life. So we can also say that it is also linked to the happiness of an individual. It revitalizes the energy that lies within ourselves, makes us feel liberated and brings out the child that is hidden within us.
However, some of us may find it difficult to be inspired. For such people, there are certain points that should be kept in mind that will help them in finding their source of inspiration. Firstly, a person should open his mind to new ideas and concepts in life. This means that one should not just stick to their previous experiences, judgments, and perspectives. New thoughts should also be explored. This will improve a person’s understanding and he or she will be able to comprehend better people around them and difficult situations of life. Next thing is that, the person should not restrict oneself and confine himself in the boundaries of their daily schedule.
This is to say that a sincere and dedicated attitude towards the responsibilities is important, no doubts, but sometimes freedom is essential. So we can say that a kind of leeway is necessary for inspiration. Discovering new things such as those that are found in a museum or trying to involving in creative works like writing poems, or interacting with people from different backgrounds helps a lot in broadening the horizons of an individual. All these things encourage a person to search for an inspiration and sparks up the force that is veiled in our inner self. Last but not the least, One should also minimize the time spend in the company of pessimistic people as this may make him a cynical person as well.
This inspiration gives a person a hope to reach out to his goals. Lack of inspiration, result in the degradation of the inner self of a person. The inspiration or the living force of a person comes from different sources for every individual. On the one hand, few people take their teachers, any famous celebrities or freedom fighters as their inspiration. On the other hand, nature and the scenic beauty around instigate many people. This inspiration actually gives a meaning to their lives and guides them to the correct path. It gives a direction and focus in life. This makes them achieve the heights of success both on the personal and professional front.
For instance, everyone needs to attain intelligence, learn, and acquire knowledge to be on the top. But, only a motivational force of an individual brings out in him a craving to learn and gain as much knowledge as possible. With someone to guide and support him, an individual starts trusting on his capabilities and cross the hurdles that come on his way easily. Thus, it serves to act as a way to realize his aim in life. It creates in a person an enthusiasm to live life to the fullest. It instills in him the confidence, daring and expectation to reach out to the impossible. This confidence and daring enables him to take risks and move ahead with a positive attitude towards varying circumstances faced by him. Thus, a positive outlook generally ensures a constructive outcome. Thus, all these small things when put together bring about a great change in the life of a person. It enables him take the necessary steps in the direction of what he aspires to achieve.
Last night as I was tossing and turning, something came over me and I realized why is it that I am not meeting my goals.
My Self Sabotaging Struggle
All my life I have been striving for financial stability. I want to go beyond surviving. I want to thrive. I want to live my life fully without having to worry about how I am going to pay for things.
I can vividly remember many trips and outings I have gone to where I am worried if I am going to be able to afford it.
For example, last year when I went to the Phillipines. Yes I had the airplane ticket but did not have any money to spend while there. Somehow that was resolved because I worked while I was there and got a few divorce cases.
But that fear comes with me almost daily.
But it’s not just money. I have the same issue with my health. I know I need to lose weight and exercise, but everything else I have to do comes first. Particularly the money.
Since I work for myself, if I don’t work I don’t get paid.
This is something that my husband struggles to understand.
He takes days off and expects me to be able to turn off the phone and take the day off with him. While sometimes I do, I am always stressed thinking that I am missing an opportunity if the phone rings and the caller cannot get a hold of me.
This Lifestyle is Killing Me
This is my first step at figuring out why I am doing this to myself. So I am going to debrief what are the things I am self sabotaging:
1 – Health
I am not exercising at all. I started with a 30 day 100 squat challenge. I did it for a week and a half and then stopped. I will restart today but that’s not the point. Will I quit again?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Doing 25 squats 4 times a day does not take a lot of time.
I am such a fool!
I am OBESE. Sixty pounds over the recommended weight for my height. I am bulging in the mid section.
Yet I am not able to be consistent with this simple task. I do not understand myself.
And I know it’s not because I don’t see changes, because I do. My thighs are becoming stronger and even reaquiring a bit of definition. So why I stopped? Maybe I do not love myself enough?
A couple of days ago I saw a video of myself and realized the results of my lifestyle.
I hated it!
Currently I live in stretchy pants. I rarely leave the house. I depend on makeup and doing my hair to boost my confidence. It’s truly sad.
2 – Spiritual Life
I am a believer of Christ and know the fundamentals of my faith. There are things that believers are supposed to do regularly such as congregating, tiding, community, reading the bible and praying.
I do attend service on Sundays and tide. But I do not do community, read the Bible or pray as much as I should.
Particularly the praying. I know I am supposed to pray on a daily basis. My daily routine is supposed to include time to reflect/meditate/pray. I do have time but I many times get distracted with fucking Facebook, YouTube or the news.
After my husband and young children leave to work and school respectively, I have an hour that I have set up to “press the reset button” and get my attitude right to achieve my goals. I have read many books where this is an important step to have the right mindset throughout the day.
But again, I am not consistent.
I am starting to see a pattern here…
3 – Business/Finances
This is a tough one for me.
I recently made the decision to stop doing divorces. My main website was rented out and just kept a couple of small websites and decided to only do simple divorces. I had hired a VA to assist me with the cases but she made sooo many mistakes; even though she’s been gone for a month I am still cleaning up the mistakes she made. My reputation suffered and I had to refund some of the funds.
Now on my Mainstream Digital Marketing Agency, I lost the domain because I did not renew on time. I have also lost opportunities because of my lack of follow through.
Currently I have a website customer and working white label for another company as well as the couple of sites I have rented.
I feel overwhelmed with all the things I have to do and I live in fear of not making enough money.
I have been cold emailing for 2 months with no results at all; while some of my peers are finding success I am not finding it.
I don’t know where to find more clients and it’s stressing me out. I also feel like sometimes I am losing closing skills.
4 – Marriage
My marriage is 80% great. Ten percent is hard because of the kids and the other 10% is the bedroom.
The kids are a big issue
He is amazing with the kids most of the time. He makes sure their homework is done, that they read, they get to bed on time and keep their room clean. The bad part is when he gets obsesed over minor things. He goes a few degrees too hot and dose not quit until the child is crying.
I have mentioned this to him so many times but he does not understand what it does to me and the children.
They love and fear him. They forgive him but everytime a burst happens I go back to my childhood. Not a pretty place to be. It takes me back to the time where I felt unprotected, unloved and lonely.
Many times I end up fighting with him, which turns into 2-3 days of him not speaking to me. Locking himself up in the bedroom when he arrives from work, sleeping on his side and not taking the girls to school in the morning.
Basically punishing me for disagreeing with him.
I stay put and act like it does not bother me. I let him be because I know that eventually the wall will come down but it does not solve anything because it’s a vicious cycle.
Thankfully this is happening less and less and I hope one day it pretty much dissapears but the girls are young….
The bedroom is another thing.
We rarely have sex. I think it’s down to once every 2 weeks, sometimes more.
And when it does happen it ends quickly; and surprise, surpise, only one of us finds release…hint it’s not me.
Guessing that I am getting old because it does not bother me at all. I am thinking he is also getting old because he rarely acts like he wants sex anyway.
Perhaps it’s because he knows I am not satisfied. But I also think that we are both bored to death with our sex life.
We both don’t have relationships close enough that we can talk about this with someone else so we bottle it up inside.
Hopefully next week when we go on a weekend getaway we can talk about this issue and come up with a plan to fix it.
I am almost 50 and he is 52; we are too young to live a life without sex. At least I want to think so.
My Self Sabotaging Bucket Has Officially Being Unloaded
Uff, I feel better now than when I started writing this post. There are still fresh tears on the keyboard but they are slowly drying up just like my sorrow.
Now I need to come up with a plan and checkpoints to make sure I am making progress.
First thing I am going to do is open up this post for comments through Facebook. I do want to hear from others as I go through my journey of change.
If I motivate 1 person to improve their life I want to hear about it.
Second, I am going to commit to blogging here at least one a week to analyze what self commitments I am able to keep, which ones I struggled with and what strides I am making.
My Action Plan to Stop the Self Sabotaging
1 – Do 100 squats and 100 crunches daily and light stretching
1 – Turn off the TV, phone, etc. during my morning ritual and let my spirit guide me on how to spend this time (praying/meditating/worshiping)
1 – Work on reaching out to 10 people daily.
A mix of existing contacts and new contacts daily. I have an old network of people I know that I can touch base with and may not know what I am up to now.
1 – Intimacy
Work towards increasing our sex life to at least once a week. Get myself in the mood and get him in the mood…
This is it!
I am keeping it simple with just one action daily until can master this and then move to bigger goals.
If you are following this journey please comment below. I will respond to every single comment (unless it’s SPAM which then I wish you would just move along).
Hey guys! Here is an update. So since I started this journey one of my main concerns has been how was I going to get new clients?
I’ve been a business woman for a while so I understood the basics including internet, print advertising, networking, etc.
Networking has been to me the worst investment of time and money I have ever made. For a long time I was a member of a local networking group. Super nice people. I am still friends with some of them but I only made about $40 from investing into the group.
I don’t know if it’s because I am not pushy enough, or maybe because I did not talk about what I did enough. But talking about divorcing people gave me a weird feeling. You know it felt like I was saying “call me if you need me ‘wink’ ‘wink’.
I was the member that they wished they never had to call.
They never referred me business.
But I know they loved me for the person I am.
So besides networking there is print ad and I hate the feeling that if I don’t pay for the ad this week I will be missing out. Also, when I did run the ads most of the people that called where just kicking the tires, not really ready to make an appointment and get started.
Also back then a no court divorce was not something that people knew to be real. Like anything new they did not know anyone that got divorced that way so it was difficult for them to believe me.
Then of course the internet.
This is the one area I have done well but with clients to take care I have very little time to work on my online presence. I know, what a curse and a blessing. It’s a good thing because I already have clients, and it’s a bad thing because time is of the essence.
Even this post! I’ve been wanting to make this post in a while but I have been too busy! I have not been even able to do yoga! Now that’s annoying!
And lately from someone that sells business services to mostly insurance companies. He sells websites and I do the SEO and social media. So far he became a client and signed up another client and it’s now advertising my services.
It’s white label which means the client does not know another company is doing the work. I do not deal with the client at all. I just make sure things are working the way they are supposed to be. Evolve Business Solutions have been a life saver to me.
The work they send to me allows me to work from home, pick up the kids from school and pay the bills.
Of course it also gives me more practice and challenges me to stay organized.
I can’t believe how my life changed so quickly! I am blessed beyond compare.
I have finally decided to stop helping people get divorced. It’s not an easy decision; there is a lot of risk involved but I believe it will be for the best.
My family needs me more and more. It seems everyday there is an opportunity for a “teachable moment” which forces me to be present. I had to face the truth; it’s hard to be present when the phone rings and it’s someone having a nervous breakdown. Or what about the wife texting me Sunday to follow up on her case?
New and Not New
I have been working on websites for many years. Heck the reason why I’ve had so many divorce clients is because of my mad SEO skills. Without them I would have been struggling like so many business owners out there. As Google kept changing their algorithm so did I kept learning how to adapt and keep climbing.
What’s new for me is the social media aspect, for which I am learning as much as possible and taking risks but what’s business without risks?
So now I decided to put my skills to the service of other business owners wanting to have more visibility on the internet and social media. I am so excited over this opportunity to help others achieve their dreams in a more positive way.
I can’t wait to have several clients, a team of geniuses and a whole different set of problems.
The good thing is that I have discovered that I am definitely not made to have a boss. I rather have clients and work day and night to make them happy and fulfill their inboxes with new potential clients.
More than they know what to do with!
I am so glad and grateful for my divorce clients and I will continue to be around for them but for now, I need to concentrate on my new baby.
My mother and I have not spoken for more than 7 days.
I am 44 years old and you would think I no longer need her but I do. I hate this silence and not understanding why it makes it harder.
All I know is that she was supposed to meet us for dinner in Daytona Beach, FL and didn’t.
She canceled the same day, with a text, with no explanation.
I have since tried to talk with her but she always either does not pick up the phone or tells me that she is OK and will call me back but never does.
Something to understand is that growing up I was more the mother than the child. She was orphaned at 5 years old and had a tough childhood. She got pregnant with me at 17 years old and got married to my father thereafter.
The marriage lasted 2 years and she got together with another man that fathered 2 more children.
This other man beat her in front of us.
While my siblings do not remember any of this, I still remember.
My mom did not always made the best decisions but I was always there to help her in any way I could.
She kept choosing bad partners up until the last one; which is not as terrible as the others but still has many faults that makes me weary of him.
But she is an adult, and so am I and if there is one thing I have learned through my life is to let people be.
Letting go of fixing problems has been rough but also has allowed me to live my life and raise my own family.
But it’s still hard to not speak with my mother – without any idea why.
I do hope she comes around and shares with me what the hell is going on because it is driving me insane!
In some instances, the divorce may have immigration. Here are a few common questions and solutions.
What’s conditional permanent residence?
An individual who immigrates towards the U.S. with different marriage that’s under 2 yrs old during the time of his/her admission will get conditional permanent residence status. This status can last for 2 yrs. To achieve full permanent residence status, the conditional resident must file a petition using the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) before the second anniversary of his/her admission being an immigrant. In those days, when the marriage continues to be intact, the immigrant spouse will get a complete permanent residence. On the other hand, when the marriage is dissolved, the immigrant spouse will forfeit his/her immigrant status and be deportable.
I backed my spouse’s immigration application and we are divorcing?
Should you sponsor your spouse’s immigration application and also the marriage is ending, you need to withdraw your sponsorship quickly because through sponsorship you’ve assumed the required supporting your partner and the and her dependents. Whenever a person signs an affidavit of support, she or he accepts responsibility for financially supporting the backed immigrant(s) until she or he becomes U.S. citizens. However, divorce doesn’t always terminate your financial responsibilities toward your immigrant spouse before she or he turns into a U.S. citizen unless of course she or he leaves the U. S. States. A spouse-sponsor should withdraw any Petition for Alien Relatives and also the Affidavit of Support as quickly as possible if divorce process are imminent.
How are immigration applications treated following a divorce?
When an immigration application that is dependant on marriage is pending prior to the USCIS, an immigrant spouse is going to be considered out-of-status upon the dissolution from the marriage. There’s additionally a strong possibility the alien spouse might be susceptible to removal proceedings following the divorce situation is completed. An individual who immigrates towards the U . s . States with different marriage that’s under 2 yrs old during the time of his/her admission will get conditional permanent residence. When the marriage continues to be intact in the second anniversary, then your immigrant spouse will get a complete permanent residence. Meanwhile, when the marriage leads to divorce, then your immigrant spouse will forfeit his/her immigrant status and be deportable. In which the qualifying marriage is finished in divorce or annulment throughout the two-year conditional residency period, the conditional resident may obtain a waiver from the joint filing requirement in line with the parties’ good belief once they joined in to the marriage.
Conditional resident status is conferred with an alien towards the U . s . States or perhaps a authorized permanent resident inside a marriage that’s considered genuine and that’s under 2 yrs old. The status is conditional for an additional 2 yrs. When the marriage lasts greater than 2 yrs, then your alien could be approved for authorized permanent status with no condition. The U.S. citizen may petition for alien spouse to get an immigrant visa. An alien by having an approved immigrant visa petition might be issued an immigrant visa with a U.S. consular publish abroad and employ the visa to become accepted towards the U.S. like a permanent resident. Also, some aliens already within the U.S. could use an authorized immigration visa to petition to achieve permanent resident status with an adjustment within the U.S. The USCIS will interview the pair to look for the bona fides from the marriage. Conditional resident status becomes permanent following the second anniversary from the residence status when the alien and also the petitioning spouse jointly file an I-751 petition that’s signed by both sides. This really is filed within 90 times of the 2nd anniversary from the granting of conditional resident alien status. After that, they’re interviewed with a USCIS examiner to find out if their marriage is legitimate.
I’m now involved with an awful divorce. So what can I actually do to keep my immigration status?
If the alien spouse is really a conditional alien resident not less than 2 yrs, then she or he won’t need their spouse’s help process the I-751 petition. When the marriage is shorter than 2 yrs, then your alien spouse can request a waiver. The waiver could be according to a number of the next grounds: extreme difficulty if deported, termination of the good belief marriage, or battered spouse or child ground. The great belief waiver mandates that the qualifying marriage was joined into in good belief through the alien spouse, the alien wasn’t to blame in neglecting to meet the advantages of filing the joint petition, which the qualifying marriage was ended apart from through the dying from the petitioning spouse.
How can the divorce modify the issuance of my conditional eco-friendly card?
Aliens who acquire their permanent residence according to their relationship having a U.S. citizen spouse or perhaps an alien parent’s U.S. citizen spouse are granted conditional permanent residence when the qualifying marriage required place within 2 yrs before the date permanent residence was conferred. Conditional permanent residence implies that the permanent residence is susceptible to termination if it’s discovered that the qualifying marriage would be a sham marriage or perhaps a marriage which was joined into just for purpose of acquiring an immigration benefit. Apart from the conditional permanent resident being susceptible to getting his status ended, he’s afforded exactly the same legal rights out of the box every other permanent resident. Within 90 days prior to the two-year anniversary from the permanent residence being granted towards the alien, the alien and spouse must apply to achieve the condition removed. The overall rule is the fact that divorce terminates the conditional permanent residence. Nonetheless, within this scenario, it’s possible for that alien to acquire a waiver from the termination when the conditional permanent resident can display the marriage was joined into in good belief, it’s presumed he wasn’t to blame for neglecting to file some pot petition. Two methods to reveal that a married relationship was joined into in good belief are showing the couple were built with a child together and producing evidence the couple owned property jointly.
How can the divorce affect an unconditional permanent residency?
Divorce doesn’t adversely affect an alien’s immigration status following the alien obtains permanent residence unconditionally. The only real effect divorce might have with an alien at this time is it may delay acquiring citizenship. If your permanent resident is married to some U.S. citizen, he’s a 3-year residency requirement of U.S. citizenship instead of a five-year residency requirement. To be able to take advantage of the shorter residency requirement, the alien should be married towards the U.S. citizen not less than 3 years before the exam date. Therefore, when the alien is divorced prior to being married to some U.S. citizen not less than 3 years before his exam date, and when he is not a lasting resident for 5 years, he will need to hold back until he is a permanent resident for 5 years before he’s qualified to try to get U.S. citizenship.
I have faith that I’m a victim of marriage fraud.
An allegation of marriage fraud might be designed to get the annulment through the spouse of the alien who acquired legal resident status through marriage. It is crucial to have an alien spouse to intensely contest an annulment according to fraud. Observe that a U.S. citizen could face criminal liability for any false marriage fraud allegation.
Get a lot of divorce, child custody, supporting your children, alimony, and much more.
So you’re moving forward the heels of the breakup. Please accept my virtual hug. Lord knows I’ve had the experience.
During the last 14 years, I’ve resided in 11 different apartments. Three of individuals moves were inspired with a breakup with someone I shared a house with. Right now, I’ve moving lower to some science. However it never feels less taxing. And it is worse when there is a breakup involved.
First comes the dreaded division from the possessions. I remember when i came the place to find a condo where every imaginable object was engrossed in Publish-it notes studying, “This is mine.” Who understood that two humans might have such impassioned feelings concerning the origins of the paperback copy from the Artist’s Way? As though that were not the worst factor imaginable, then you must package your worldly possessions and schlep all of them over creation. Much like me, you might seem like a dejected turtle, balancing your house lying on your back. Before you began packing, you was clueless that you owned a lot of books, a lot of athletic shoes, a lot of half-used hair products.
At lengthy last, both you and your boxes land inside your new space. Both hands haven’t looked so dirty. You’ve got no idea where your toothbrush is. From time to time, it dawns for you, just like a bad dream you cannot escape: This is when you reside now. Just you. Alone.
In reality, there are many positives to beginning over, a few of which grow apparent as time passes. Meanwhile, listed here are nine things I’ve found result in the process just a little simpler. I think you’ll might find some security in them.
Being in love is an amazing feeling. Many history books, songs and even the bible talks incessantly about how wonderful being in love is.
But without question, sometimes love goes awry and unfortunately the intoxicating feeling is gone and replaced by pain, confusion and sadness.
When a relationship has reached a painful demise many of us keep holding on, hoping for things to go back the way they used to be.
Even to our own detriment.
Sometimes we even keep marriage plans ahead even when we have seen the signs that our relationship may not be the best thing for us.
But we have faith and hope and charge ahead hoping for the best.
Then when the same issues arise again we find ourselves back to the painful stage we endured before.
I sat down recently with Patricia Garbo, a legal document preparer with Documents Assist Corp located in Hialeah. She shared with me that most of her divorce clients call her after looking for the phone number of the Miami divorce court forms. Many of them shared that the reason for their divorce (being infidelity, jealousy, etc) had shown it’s ugly head before they were married.
The reason why they went ahead with the nuptials vary but many of them shared they believed their now ex that they would never do it again.
To Hope Or Not To Hope
This was not really an eye opening statement to me. After all I do believe that people change but I also believe that people will tell you what they know you want to hear.
Our challenge is to figure out when it’s real and when it’s fake.
Making Hard Decisions
Per Ms. Garbo many potential clients will call her for information on a Simple divorce florida, and then would not hear about them for months; surely trying to work things out.
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