I have finally decided to stop helping people get divorced. It’s not an easy decision; there is a lot of risk involved but I believe it will be for the best.
My family needs me more and more. It seems everyday there is an opportunity for a “teachable moment” which forces me to be present. I had to face the truth; it’s hard to be present when the phone rings and it’s someone having a nervous breakdown. Or what about the wife texting me Sunday to follow up on her case?
New and Not New
I have been working on websites for many years. Heck the reason why I’ve had so many divorce clients is because of my mad SEO skills. Without them I would have been struggling like so many business owners out there. As Google kept changing their algorithm so did I kept learning how to adapt and keep climbing.
What’s new for me is the social media aspect, for which I am learning as much as possible and taking risks but what’s business without risks?
So now I decided to put my skills to the service of other business owners wanting to have more visibility on the internet and social media. I am so excited over this opportunity to help others achieve their dreams in a more positive way.
I can’t wait to have several clients, a team of geniuses and a whole different set of problems.
The good thing is that I have discovered that I am definitely not made to have a boss. I rather have clients and work day and night to make them happy and fulfill their inboxes with new potential clients.
More than they know what to do with!
I am so glad and grateful for my divorce clients and I will continue to be around for them but for now, I need to concentrate on my new baby.
My mother and I have not spoken for more than 7 days.
I am 44 years old and you would think I no longer need her but I do. I hate this silence and not understanding why it makes it harder.
All I know is that she was supposed to meet us for dinner in Daytona Beach, FL and didn’t.
She canceled the same day, with a text, with no explanation.
I have since tried to talk with her but she always either does not pick up the phone or tells me that she is OK and will call me back but never does.
Something to understand is that growing up I was more the mother than the child. She was orphaned at 5 years old and had a tough childhood. She got pregnant with me at 17 years old and got married to my father thereafter.
The marriage lasted 2 years and she got together with another man that fathered 2 more children.
This other man beat her in front of us.
While my siblings do not remember any of this, I still remember.
My mom did not always made the best decisions but I was always there to help her in any way I could.
She kept choosing bad partners up until the last one; which is not as terrible as the others but still has many faults that makes me weary of him.
But she is an adult, and so am I and if there is one thing I have learned through my life is to let people be.
Letting go of fixing problems has been rough but also has allowed me to live my life and raise my own family.
But it’s still hard to not speak with my mother – without any idea why.
I do hope she comes around and shares with me what the hell is going on because it is driving me insane!
In some instances, the divorce may have immigration. Here are a few common questions and solutions.
What’s conditional permanent residence?
An individual who immigrates towards the U.S. with different marriage that’s under 2 yrs old during the time of his/her admission will get conditional permanent residence status. This status can last for 2 yrs. To achieve full permanent residence status, the conditional resident must file a petition using the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) before the second anniversary of his/her admission being an immigrant. In those days, when the marriage continues to be intact, the immigrant spouse will get a complete permanent residence. On the other hand, when the marriage is dissolved, the immigrant spouse will forfeit his/her immigrant status and be deportable.
I backed my spouse’s immigration application and we are divorcing?
Should you sponsor your spouse’s immigration application and also the marriage is ending, you need to withdraw your sponsorship quickly because through sponsorship you’ve assumed the required supporting your partner and the and her dependents. Whenever a person signs an affidavit of support, she or he accepts responsibility for financially supporting the backed immigrant(s) until she or he becomes U.S. citizens. However, divorce doesn’t always terminate your financial responsibilities toward your immigrant spouse before she or he turns into a U.S. citizen unless of course she or he leaves the U. S. States. A spouse-sponsor should withdraw any Petition for Alien Relatives and also the Affidavit of Support as quickly as possible if divorce process are imminent.
How are immigration applications treated following a divorce?
When an immigration application that is dependant on marriage is pending prior to the USCIS, an immigrant spouse is going to be considered out-of-status upon the dissolution from the marriage. There’s additionally a strong possibility the alien spouse might be susceptible to removal proceedings following the divorce situation is completed. An individual who immigrates towards the U . s . States with different marriage that’s under 2 yrs old during the time of his/her admission will get conditional permanent residence. When the marriage continues to be intact in the second anniversary, then your immigrant spouse will get a complete permanent residence. Meanwhile, when the marriage leads to divorce, then your immigrant spouse will forfeit his/her immigrant status and be deportable. In which the qualifying marriage is finished in divorce or annulment throughout the two-year conditional residency period, the conditional resident may obtain a waiver from the joint filing requirement in line with the parties’ good belief once they joined in to the marriage.
Conditional resident status is conferred with an alien towards the U . s . States or perhaps a authorized permanent resident inside a marriage that’s considered genuine and that’s under 2 yrs old. The status is conditional for an additional 2 yrs. When the marriage lasts greater than 2 yrs, then your alien could be approved for authorized permanent status with no condition. The U.S. citizen may petition for alien spouse to get an immigrant visa. An alien by having an approved immigrant visa petition might be issued an immigrant visa with a U.S. consular publish abroad and employ the visa to become accepted towards the U.S. like a permanent resident. Also, some aliens already within the U.S. could use an authorized immigration visa to petition to achieve permanent resident status with an adjustment within the U.S. The USCIS will interview the pair to look for the bona fides from the marriage. Conditional resident status becomes permanent following the second anniversary from the residence status when the alien and also the petitioning spouse jointly file an I-751 petition that’s signed by both sides. This really is filed within 90 times of the 2nd anniversary from the granting of conditional resident alien status. After that, they’re interviewed with a USCIS examiner to find out if their marriage is legitimate.
I’m now involved with an awful divorce. So what can I actually do to keep my immigration status?
If the alien spouse is really a conditional alien resident not less than 2 yrs, then she or he won’t need their spouse’s help process the I-751 petition. When the marriage is shorter than 2 yrs, then your alien spouse can request a waiver. The waiver could be according to a number of the next grounds: extreme difficulty if deported, termination of the good belief marriage, or battered spouse or child ground. The great belief waiver mandates that the qualifying marriage was joined into in good belief through the alien spouse, the alien wasn’t to blame in neglecting to meet the advantages of filing the joint petition, which the qualifying marriage was ended apart from through the dying from the petitioning spouse.
How can the divorce modify the issuance of my conditional eco-friendly card?
Aliens who acquire their permanent residence according to their relationship having a U.S. citizen spouse or perhaps an alien parent’s U.S. citizen spouse are granted conditional permanent residence when the qualifying marriage required place within 2 yrs before the date permanent residence was conferred. Conditional permanent residence implies that the permanent residence is susceptible to termination if it’s discovered that the qualifying marriage would be a sham marriage or perhaps a marriage which was joined into just for purpose of acquiring an immigration benefit. Apart from the conditional permanent resident being susceptible to getting his status ended, he’s afforded exactly the same legal rights out of the box every other permanent resident. Within 90 days prior to the two-year anniversary from the permanent residence being granted towards the alien, the alien and spouse must apply to achieve the condition removed. The overall rule is the fact that divorce terminates the conditional permanent residence. Nonetheless, within this scenario, it’s possible for that alien to acquire a waiver from the termination when the conditional permanent resident can display the marriage was joined into in good belief, it’s presumed he wasn’t to blame for neglecting to file some pot petition. Two methods to reveal that a married relationship was joined into in good belief are showing the couple were built with a child together and producing evidence the couple owned property jointly.
How can the divorce affect an unconditional permanent residency?
Divorce doesn’t adversely affect an alien’s immigration status following the alien obtains permanent residence unconditionally. The only real effect divorce might have with an alien at this time is it may delay acquiring citizenship. If your permanent resident is married to some U.S. citizen, he’s a 3-year residency requirement of U.S. citizenship instead of a five-year residency requirement. To be able to take advantage of the shorter residency requirement, the alien should be married towards the U.S. citizen not less than 3 years before the exam date. Therefore, when the alien is divorced prior to being married to some U.S. citizen not less than 3 years before his exam date, and when he is not a lasting resident for 5 years, he will need to hold back until he is a permanent resident for 5 years before he’s qualified to try to get U.S. citizenship.
I have faith that I’m a victim of marriage fraud.
An allegation of marriage fraud might be designed to get the annulment through the spouse of the alien who acquired legal resident status through marriage. It is crucial to have an alien spouse to intensely contest an annulment according to fraud. Observe that a U.S. citizen could face criminal liability for any false marriage fraud allegation.
Get a lot of divorce, child custody, supporting your children, alimony, and much more.
So you’re moving forward the heels of the breakup. Please accept my virtual hug. Lord knows I’ve had the experience.
During the last 14 years, I’ve resided in 11 different apartments. Three of individuals moves were inspired with a breakup with someone I shared a house with. Right now, I’ve moving lower to some science. However it never feels less taxing. And it is worse when there is a breakup involved.
First comes the dreaded division from the possessions. I remember when i came the place to find a condo where every imaginable object was engrossed in Publish-it notes studying, “This is mine.” Who understood that two humans might have such impassioned feelings concerning the origins of the paperback copy from the Artist’s Way? As though that were not the worst factor imaginable, then you must package your worldly possessions and schlep all of them over creation. Much like me, you might seem like a dejected turtle, balancing your house lying on your back. Before you began packing, you was clueless that you owned a lot of books, a lot of athletic shoes, a lot of half-used hair products.
At lengthy last, both you and your boxes land inside your new space. Both hands haven’t looked so dirty. You’ve got no idea where your toothbrush is. From time to time, it dawns for you, just like a bad dream you cannot escape: This is when you reside now. Just you. Alone.
In reality, there are many positives to beginning over, a few of which grow apparent as time passes. Meanwhile, listed here are nine things I’ve found result in the process just a little simpler. I think you’ll might find some security in them.
Being in love is an amazing feeling. Many history books, songs and even the bible talks incessantly about how wonderful being in love is.
But without question, sometimes love goes awry and unfortunately the intoxicating feeling is gone and replaced by pain, confusion and sadness.
When a relationship has reached a painful demise many of us keep holding on, hoping for things to go back the way they used to be.
Even to our own detriment.
Sometimes we even keep marriage plans ahead even when we have seen the signs that our relationship may not be the best thing for us.
But we have faith and hope and charge ahead hoping for the best.
Then when the same issues arise again we find ourselves back to the painful stage we endured before.
I sat down recently with Patricia Garbo, a legal document preparer with Documents Assist Corp located in Hialeah. She shared with me that most of her divorce clients call her after looking for the phone number of the Miami divorce court forms. Many of them shared that the reason for their divorce (being infidelity, jealousy, etc) had shown it’s ugly head before they were married.
The reason why they went ahead with the nuptials vary but many of them shared they believed their now ex that they would never do it again.
To Hope Or Not To Hope
This was not really an eye opening statement to me. After all I do believe that people change but I also believe that people will tell you what they know you want to hear.
Our challenge is to figure out when it’s real and when it’s fake.
Making Hard Decisions
Per Ms. Garbo many potential clients will call her for information on a Simple divorce florida, and then would not hear about them for months; surely trying to work things out.
Filing for Divorce? What’s Going to be Your Revenge?
Just read an article of this guy that was married and his wife cheated on him. To make a long story short he orchestrated for his wife to leave the house, leave him the children, pay him child support while he is working part-time. Unfortunately he used his daughter as a pawn but who am I to judge? Read the Story HERE
I so wish that I was that crafty when I left my husband. All I could think about was I can’t live under the same roof for one more minute and took my kids into a shelter.
We lived there for 3 months while a judge finally told him to get the fuck out.
Meanwhile I worked on getting my beauty on and become a better version of me. I started seriously exercising, buying better fitting clothes, having my hair done up and even had my girl in tactical-aesthetics make my skin glow.
PS – If you are ever in the Melbourne, Florida area you should see if you can get an appointment with Stephanie Olliekainen, a master aesthetician in Melbourne with more than 20 years of experience and LOVES her work!
During that time I grew as a person exponentially. I opened my own business and learned that I could do life without him.
I have 4 kids and while he told me that no-one would ever want to be with me because I have too much baggage I found someone wonderful that loves me and my “baggage” and treats me extremely well, sometimes better than I deserve.
Filing for divorce can be a painful experience. When you got married, you, no doubt, want to stay together till death do you part. Right now, you are just managing your relationship and wondering if it is the right time to file for divorce. A lot of married couples are in the same situation, but your circumstance may differ from theirs. If it has been on your mind to get a divorce, some concrete indications will give you a clear signal to go ahead. What are they? Let us look at few of them.
Your needs are not being met
When the most basic human needs – physical, emotional, and spiritual – are not being met, it is an indication that it is time to file for divorce. Marriage is a partnership between committed lovers and when one spouse no longer holds this view, it is time for a divorce.
When you think that you’d be better off alone
As your relationship gets old, there will come a time when you start to think that you would be better off alone. However, this is not enough reason to get a divorce. It is only when your marriage has become an unhappy one that it might be time to get a divorce in Florida.
If you are only staying because of the kids
You may want to stay because of your children, but kids are very smart. Do not underestimate their understanding of what is going on. They can sense problem easily, and if you think that you do not want your children to emulate the present happenings in your marriage when they too have their own in future, it might be time for a divorce.
If you are repeatedly being abused
Are you being physical, emotionally, or verbally abused? Maybe, you have tried to reason that thing will change over time and decided to remain in the relationship. But, instead of the situation improving, it is getting worse. This is a clear signal you should file for a divorce.
You no longer trust or respect each other
Any marriage without trust and respect is heading for a disaster. Marriage is supposed to be strong and should be based on trust, understanding and mutual respect. But, when these qualities are no longer there, and you cannot trust your spouse anymore, it may be a sign that it is time to get a divorce.
You are not faithful to your spouse
If you have been cheating on your spouse, and your feelings towards your spouse have changed, it is time to move on.
If you are familiar with this blog you will know that my relationship with my ex husband was at best tumultuous.
While I was madly and sickly in love with him he seemed to be more interested in hanging out with his friends, drinking and inhaling white powder.
So many evenings I spent waiting for him, not knowing if he was coming home for dinner.
Even a phone call saying “I’ll be late” would have been great.
I was not the type to call him on the phone, I’ve never been that type.
In my eyes, a man gets out of work then comes home. If he is going out after work, he comes home, he takes a shower, changes to nice clothes and off he goes….with his wife.
Well, my ex did not understand or want to understand my needs.
But Here Is the Weird Thing
Even after all of the tears and suffering we still flirted for many years after separating and even after our final divorce.
The last time we slept together was the same night I met my now husband.
It was our first date and I just knew that it could go somewhere, I felt it deep in my core that it was time for something new.
My ex had been calling me non-stop during our date. I cut my date short and met him at one of those nasty bars that he hanged out with his friends.
He was alone, we went to one of the worst motels in the area.
It was the best fucking of my life. It was also good bye.
Little did I know that I was going to be engaged 7 months later, to someone who I mattered to and put me ahead of everything and everyone else.
But my ex and I still flirted for about a year.
Why did we flirted?
That’s a great question that I am not sure I will ever have an answer to. I did not like the way he treated me while we were together however after we broke up it was hard to tell him to stop.
After that final night I started dating my now husband and he started dating someone else but he continued trying to flirt with me. Most of the time I did not oblige. Sometimes it felt nice but most of the time I did not flat out reject it because that was the only way that I could get something for the kids. I knew that if I was abrupt with him he would not give me any money for the children.
He was that kind of asshole
Our divorce was final quickly because we did it in mutual agreement and I basically had to give in the fair amount of child support that I was supposed to get as long as he signed the papers. For a similar divorce service check out tampadivorcecenter.us they are highly recommended.
Life is weird and when it comes to emotions you just never know.
How to Keep Going When Everything Around You is Crumbling
I am writing this article because I have been there. Many people know that when I decided to get divorce I ended up in a shelter with my 4 children. What many do not know is that I had opened up a new business two weeks before I ended up at the shelter.
Caucasian businesswoman with headache
The night I left the house was the night before my first client meeting. Looking back I am not sure how I kept going. I know that some people would have put their projects on hold while going through personal setbacks. There are times that I have done that however this time it was different.
I threw myself into my new business, first because I needed the income, second because I would be dammed if I let my ex win.
Let me explain. I left my ex the night before because he came through the door drunk (nothing new) and started to make fun at my new business. He insisted that I had no ability to make money. That I was a loser and would never make it.
I could not crumble.
I moved on and kept on and pushed through my own conceived barriers and worked so hard that from the first month my business was open I recovered my investment and by the second month it was 80% profit.
I read somewhere that “you can make excuses or money but not both”, and I believe that will all my heart.
So my answer to how to be an entrepreneur while everything around you is crumbling? Keep moving, do you and everything will be alright!
If you need help with your online business you should check out SEODIVA. A very affordable and spot on SEO service provider.
So he (or she) has been cheating? Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Been there done that, bought the t-shirt…twice.
The first time the relationship did not survive
The second time the relationship survived and actually trived.
Why some relationships survive cheating while others do not?
The answer is not simple and it’s as varied as there are types of relationships out there. But there are a few things that can be done to figure out if it’s worth it to stay in the relationship or if it’s better for you to leave it behind you.
How you reacted when you found out of the cheating will set the pace
I remember vividly how my blood boiled! I was not only furious but obsessed. I went through all the crisis stages so quickly my head spin, I also became a hound dog and kept digging any information I could about the infidelity. I am not proud of some of the crazy things I did such as activating the GPS on the phones, spying on the text messages and some other crazy shit.
Yep, not proud however I am proud of how I acted when I confronted them. The first time I found out because my own brother told me. To avoid a bigger family issue I was able to come up with a plan to hide that fact and discover the truth.
When I confronted him I fell apart. I told him that I had contracted an STD and that he needed to tell me the truth. I am not proud of how I fell apart but I am proud of never letting him know the involvement of my brother.
He admitted to sleeping with one woman. After a short period of separation (we were in the same house but I slept in our daughter’s room) he got on his hands and knees and cried while telling me “I will never do it again”. Like an idiot I believed him and sure enough he did it again.
Later on I found out that there were many more.
The Second Time I was Cheated On
The second time I was cheated on it was quite different. I did not lose it like I did the first time because the quality of life I lived next to my spouse was much different than my first marriage. I made him a cup of coffee and calmly told him that I knew that he was having an affair and that I was willing to seek couples therapy and figure out why he strayed.
We did and after a few sessions it turned up to be his fear of getting old that prompted him to act out that way. Not cool at all but at least we were able to figure it out and I am happy to say that we have been very happy for years now.
We also attended a marriage retreat which was AMAZING. They are called Worldwide Marriage Encounter and we are forever grateful of the opportunity to grow our intimacy in a supportive environment.
Reconciliation After Cheating is Possible
While I wholeheartedly believe this I also think that re-conciliating is not always the way to go. If he or she says “I am sorry, I won’t do it again”, know that even though it will feel nice to hear it’s never ever enough.
Cheating may be a symptom to something like a personal crisis or not being happy with the relationship or a lack of morals but remember the following advice from yours truly:
1 – Apologies without actions are not enough.
2 – Seek counseling, by yourself or couples therapy may help to find the root cause and figure out how to avoid this from happening again. Also to help you recuperate from the blow cheating does to your feeling of self worth.
3 – Take care of yourself. Your self esteem will suffer a huge blow, and will need time to heal. Surround yourself with uplifting people, music and your church.
Surviving this type of situation will make you stronger. But be smart and walk away if he/she does not open to you and seeks true change. It’s not worth to stay with a cheating spouse if they make you miserable. You are worthy, you are special and you deserve better.
If your spouse does not understand that then it’s his loss.
All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only and is NOT to be relied upon as legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is established by use of our online legal forms or information given on this site.