Children – The best thing I ever got from my divorce
When people spoke about children being the best thing that ever happened to them from their divorce I never understood them.
Let’s be real.
Children are so much work! They are exhausting from the moment they are born. They chew on your breast, then poop something fierce and end up throwing up all over your nicest t-shirt. Many times I have even wondered why God made us the carrier of so much responsibility. Why not men?
Let’s be honest, most men can walk away at any time without thinking twice about their off spring. It’s not “we are pregnant”, is “she is pregnant”. Married or not, a child becomes the primary responsibility of the female.
But we continue to pop kids like candy.
Why are we so Dumb?
It horrifies me every time I see a child of 13-16 years old being pregnant with another child. I have 4 girls aged 20 through 6 years old and I do not know how I would handle any one of them pregnant so young.
But it does not stop there. I also worry about the many women taking the bus everyday, pregnant and pushing a stroller.
Hello???
You cannot afford a car but you keep getting pregnant! And of course you are getting medicaid, food stamps and probably welfare.
Two scenarios come to mind; your man is not financially stable, or you don’t “have a man”. You had one at one point but he was not the type that sticks around.
Perhaps you missed the day in high school (oh wait, you did go to high school right?) where they showed horny girls and boys how to put a condom on a banana.
My only hope for you is that the sex was worth ruining your life forever.
Ok, maybe I am being a little over dramatic.
Your life may not be forever ruined, but will be damn harder than if you chose to avoid getting pregnant.
Why am I being So Hard?
Because while I did not take the bus pregnant while pushing a stroller I was close. My first pregnancy was at 23 years old. I was an exotic dancer (read: stripper) when I met my then boyfriend. He moved in with me quickly and a few months later he was talking marriage. I got excited, started buying the wedding magazines and all. Then I got knocked up and something shifted in me. Two months in my pregnancy and I threw my fiancee out of my house after finding a huge bag of premium weed in his truck.
After the baby I made a different “career choice” and got a job working for a Fortune 500 after much pushing for it (another story altogether) and got off welfare 2 months after my baby was born.
My ex was not there during her birth.
The first time he saw her was at the child support office. She was 3 years old.
Do I regret getting pregnant? Absolutely! It was a stupid mistake. Do I love my child? Absolutely! She is my greatest joy and at 20 a beautiful old soul but I know that she carries a lot of issues probably related to the abandonment of her father, the lack of support and my inexperience.
Making Smarter Decisions
I think that as women we need to make smarter decisions when it comes to having children. Not only are they annoying they are also expensive and time hoarders. Once you are a mother you are left to the back of the line. Everything else related to our children is more important.
Just recently I saw a post on Facebook by a friend of mine who is a physical trainer (he used to train me), the post was telling women to “put themselves first”; I almost fell off my chair laughing.
First of all he is a guy.
A divorced guy with a child being raised day in and day out by his ex-wife telling me to put myself first. Seriously! I know women that somehow make time for themselves and I envy them (the good kind of envy), I so wish I could that!
I used to take and give bellydance lessons. That was my respite. Unfortunately I got married and before the last bell sounded I stopped bellydancing. I felt that my time was needed at home and at work; but where did that leave me?
Children – The Best Thing I got from My Divorce
Rant over. So I got married when my first child was 5 and had 3 more children with him. Even though I was married I was still single if you know what I mean. I was responsible for working outside the home, food shopping, all school activities, bill paying, nursing, clothes shopping, doctor appointments, school issues, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework etc.
My husband worked, ate, took a shower and laid down.
Great life!
Oh wait I forgot he also got drunk, inhaled cocaine and who knows what else.
So now I am a single mother by choice but super happy and content. I work hard to supply for them and while they are a lot of work I would give my life for them and not even blink an eye.