I had a tough childhood but nothing prepared me to what I felt that moment when I knew it was over; meaning my first marriage.
Even though I was raised in an alcoholic house with my stepdad I always believed in the whole romantic scenario we are sold as children. I wanted a marriage that lasted an eternity; the perfect life.
I married my first husband when I was 26 years old. My first born was 4 years old and I was full of dreams and wishes. Even though the signs were all there that I was heading the same direction my mother did when I was young, I proceeded ahead full steam, disregarding the alarms that were ringing loudly in my head.
A few years later things kept getting worse. Our marriage had it’s typical ups and downs but at one point it was hard to know the difference.
The drinking and possible drug use was in charge of the schedule in our home.
Plans we made rarely stuck, while I kept trying to figure out what worked and what did not work. Honestly, I spent 11 years trying to make him stop drinking. This is strange coming from me, as I like to drink socially bu I have never abused him verbally or physically, never. He was everything to me. Even when he verbally abused me in front of others I would be there for him the next day.
I was the perfect victim.
But everything toxic must come to an end and thanks to ALANON I was able to find my strenght, my voice, myself.
That Moment When I knew It Was Over was not over something big. The only insult he gave me was when he told me that I would never be able to be on my own, make my own money and live by myself.
I am not afraid – It was over
That day I left out the door and did not look back.
Never tell me I can’t do something.
I will prove you wrong.
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